How to talk to your kids about death

My kids have been through more death and loss in their short years than most people go through in a lifetime.  It saddens me to see this, but I also believe it has made them stronger and appreciate and value our time here on Earth. As my kids are all teenagers now, they are much more aware of the world today and the demons and addictions that people have to endure. Life is much harder today than it was even when I was growing up and things were not talked about especially addiction or mental illness. That is why I am so candid in my blogs because I want to talk about these things and bring awareness. My kids know everything, and I don’t feel that hiding things from them is the right thing to do, I do agree that children do not need to deal with adult problems, but they need to understand what is going on. 

My oldest son has really struggled with the deaths of our friends and family members and has almost become obsessed with death and suicide.  He is working with a therapist to work through this and is making progress, but it is a daily struggle for him.  He has also talked about committing suicide several times that we are getting him professional help for. Part of his FAS and ADHD is he gets very fixated on things and cannot let it go.  He was very close to the family members that have passed and unfortunately was the one to find one of them which has triggered PTSD and severe nightmares for him.

Suicide is never an easy topic to talk about and especially with children.  Unfortunately, we have had no choice as they have been to 3 funerals over the last 5 years of people very close to them that have made this choice. As hard as it has been to go through this and help the kids express their grief, they have also seen how hard it is for the people that are left behind and how many people suicide effects. I am just trying to reinforce that we are always here for them to talk to and this is never the solution to a problem. 

Luckily, we have great therapists that work with the kids as well as I am seeing one, I think everyone should talk to a therapist- It is so liberating and freeing to talk out loud to someone. I have learned the hard way that keeping everything inside will lead you in a dark place of anxiety and depression.

Please listen to your kids if they are saying they are being bullied, have withdrawn themselves, or their grades are dropping, these are all signs and should not be ignored. If your child threatens suicide please take them seriously, I know a lot of time we think they may just be seeking attention, but you don’t want to take that risk. There are great resources in every city that help parents, I know they can be hard to find- trust me!! We have a mobile crisis unit that I have linked in my resources that you can call 24/7 for any reason. 

If you or anyone you know is needing help, please have them call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.