Let’s talk Meds

*Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog and on this website are solely my personal experiences; and do not represent any entity. These opinions and experiences should in no way deter you from seeking professional advice from a licensed physician, psychiatrist or therapist*

How many meds have the boys been on? I have lost count over the years. Doctor after doctor and they ask what they have tried; what worked and what didn’t; and I cannot even name them all anymore. I should have kept a better log over the years but in that moment, you are just hoping that something will help control the violent outbursts and the rage. Now I know there is no magic pill but somedays you really wish there were just to survive that day.

My son was started on psychiatric medications at four years old to help control his behavior, outbursts, defiance and “mood disorder”.  With no biological family history; we have no way to know if any mental illness runs in the family.  It is very scary to think that your child needs these types of medications and who knows the side effects down the road.  Especially when they tell you being on Depakote can cause liver damage and then want to know if the Risperidone is causing weight gain or hormonal changes. These are not things a mom of a four-year-old should be thinking about but “Let’s Get Real” it is what it is, and it is my life. 

My other son has been on so many meds for ADHD, which we have not had the greatest luck with. I remember when he was maybe six years old and they started him on Ritalin, and it had the opposite effect and he tried to jump out of our two-story window just because he was so out of his head on this medication.  We have had some luck where you will find a medication that works great for a while and then the kids grow, and they gain weight and you have to start all over with new dosing or meds.  Then don’t even get me started when they hit puberty!! My son told us that he hates the side effects so much of his pills that he had not been taking them and was occasionally using recreational drugs to get the same calming experience without the side effects.

It got to the point a few years ago when both of my boys were like complete zombies, you could look in their eyes and see nothing behind them. I could barely wake them up in the mornings and they would be drowsy or sleep during school.  The meds they were on were helping with the anger and rage, but my boys were no longer in there.

My husband and I had a long discussion and we decided to take a very scary risk, but we chose to take the boys off of all their medications and just see what happened. My one son had been on them for 10 years at this point since he was 4 years old, so we never really knew what he was like not medicated.  For us this was a game changer, this was two years ago, and I cannot tell you the difference in my son.  He is so funny, he laughs, he smiles, he interacts and yes still has his moments, it is not a perfect science for sure. But the eyes that I looked into on the day he came into our lives are now the same eyes I am looking into today; it wasn’t that case for many years. 

Please know that this is our journey with our kids, and I am in no way encouraging anyone to stop medications on their child, this is just what has worked so far for our family. It also isn’t as easy as it sounds, it has been a very long process that will never end.  I am not against medications at all we just never really got to see how our son could succeed day in and day out without being on medicated.